Walter Matthau

as Senator Long

as Mr. Wilson

as Hamilton Bartholemew

as Max Goldman

as Oscar Madison

as Lieutenant Garber

as Self - Host

as Albert Einstein

as Prof. Groeteschele

as Max Goldman

as Padre Maurizio

as Horace Vandergelder

as Walter Burns

as Drunk

as Willie Gingrich

as Morris Buttermaker

as Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red

as Charley Varrick

as Mel Miller

as Off. Pete Chandler

as Dr. Julian Winston

as Henry Graham

as Lou Mozell

as Miles Kendig

as Wally Gibbs

as Sheriff Morey Johnson

as Oscar Madison

as Marvin Michaels

as Charlie

as Donald Becker

as Ted Caselle

as Sonny Paluso

as Trabucco

as Willy Clark

as Maxie Fields

as Self

as Self

as Wes Todd

as Gen. R.A. Smight

as Sgt. Jake Martin SFPD

as Stan Bodine

as Sam Nash / Jesse Kiplinger / Roy Hubley

as Sorrowful Jones

as Paul Manning

as Felix Anders

as Joseph P. Kotcher

as Judge Charlie Cool

as Nat Moyer

as Leo Sartori

as Dan Snow

as Judge Kyle

as Self

as Dr. Charley Nichols

as Pete Seltzer

as Self - Guest

as Self - Nominee / Presenter

as Doc

as Franklin Gaer

as Ebenezer Scrooge (voice)

as Harmon Cobb

as Joe Mulholland

as Jack Martin

as Herbert Tucker

as Lloyd Bourdelle

as Tony Gagouts

as Peter Kanopolis

as Jacobs

as Self

as Charlie Mapes

as Lawrence Stevens

as Self

as Self

as Narrator (voice)

as Self

as Al Dahlke

as Self

as Harmon Cobb

as 'Red' Wildoe

as Harmon Cobb

as Tony Dallas

as Coastguardsman

as Dr. Karnes

as Clifford Pepperman

as Self / Narrator

as Frank Walsh

as Self

as Self

as Self

as The Movie Star

as Self

as Dr. Spinelli

as Self

as Self

as Self

as Lex Rogers

as Self (archive footage)

as Moe Axelrod

as Boris Thomashevsky

as Narrator

as Self

as Self

as Self (archive footage)

as Ben Alexander / Philip Judah

as Self

as Self

as Self (voice)

as Self - Performer

as Self

as Self - Host