Mel Smith

as The Albino

Role: Director

as Character Actor (voice)

as Hotel Manager

as Benny Frazier

as Grenada Security Guard

as John Enderby

as Sir Toby Belch

as Rocco Melonchek

as Drunk at Party

as Man at Train Station (uncredited)

Role: Director

as Bowls Commentator (voice)

as Self

as Alan

as Bernard

Role: Director

as Father Christmas (voice)

as Inspector Flint

as Pyle

as Cyril Ash

as Jumbo Whiffy

as Schlesinger

as TV Talk Show Host

as Professor Cranshaw

as Crouch

as Mr. Grimshaw

as Self

as Disco Doorman

as DI Thomas

as Various

as Terry Abbatt

as Uncle Richard

as Self

as David Maxwell Fyfe

as DI Thomas

as Porno Movie Director

as Colin Watkins

as Self - Not the Nine O'Clock News, 1980 (archive footage)

as Self

as Billy Evans

as Self

as Tom Craig

as Stephen Milner

as Len

as Self (archive footage)

as Self

as Self

as Self

as self

as Xan

as Jumbo Whiffy (archive footage) (uncredited)

as Self

as Santa Claus

as Self

as Hospital patient

as Various

as Self